My daughter told me that my grandson was being teased about being the shortest kid in his kindergarten class. I can certainly relate to this because I too was always the shortest kid in my class and I do believe that my children were always first on line as well.
Years ago my husband and a friend were discussing prejudice. Our friend related how he was teased because he is a Japanese America. He went on to talk about racial and religious prejudice in this country . When my husband finally got a chance to talk he said," Look at you, you are tall ,good looking and have a full head of hair. I'm short,skinny, average looking, and bald. No one picked me for the team and I didn't get a date until I was almost finished with high school."
It doesn't matter what color you are, what religion you practice, or what you look like, sadly there will always be someone who wants to make themselves feel important by making you feel rotten.
So I told my grandson to tell the bullies and teasers:
I might be short but I am very smart and will probably be very rich one day.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
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Two of the biggest falacies we teach our children is that old verse, "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never harm me" and "You can be anything you want to be".
ReplyDeleteWe all know that words can be more harmful than anything physical. Wounds heal and yes they may scare but emotional scares from words are far worse and the ramifications can last longer and reach out into other areas of our lives. For every negative thing someone says to us it will take 4 times that many positive comments to make us feel better about ourselves.
Children need a ratio of 80 - 20% positive to negative comments in their young lives. Parents are the biggest influences on this ratio. School children can be harsh so we need to give our children all the tools we can to deal with comments other children make. Letting them know how much they are loved is one of the biggest tools we can give them. If they know that they are loved beyond all comprehension and not made to feel guilty and made to feel like they have to earn our love they will be way ahead of the game when kids begin to pick on them.
Telling children they can be anything they want to be is setting them up for failure. We are all born with limitations. Learning what those limitations are and learning the things that we excel in are key. Yes, children need to try new things and we should be willing to introduce them to as many new experiences as we can and learn to "listen" to our children when they give us clues as to what is working for them and what isn't. Forcing them to be in little league and ballet class maybe our idea of fun but not theirs. So teach your children that "they can be the BEST that they can be" and they will be less likely to feel like failures when they stand up in front of the entire school in a talent show trying to sing when they can't carry a tune in a bucket.